School Anxiety: What Parents Need to Know

Back-to-school season kicks off this month, and returning to the classroom can bring on excitement and nerves for both kids and parents.

Some children can’t wait to see their friends again. Others may feel anxious about going back to school, making the transition more difficult. From kindergarteners clinging in the drop-off line to teens who dread social interactions, school anxiety is more common than you think.

Here are some tips from North Oaks Health System experts about how to recognize and manage separation anxiety in younger children and social anxiety in teensꟷplus when it might be time to reach out for professional support.

Is it normal worry or anxiety disorder?

It’s normal for children to have fears and worries as they grow. But these fears are usually short-term and go away with time. If your child is experiencing intense fear that interferes with school, home life or play, they may be developing an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders are mental health conditions that involve intense, ongoing worry or fear, often with physical symptoms like a racing heart or upset stomach. Symptoms of anxiety frequently start in childhood or the teen years.

Anxiety disorders aren’t just restricted to one type of fear. There are many different kinds, but separation and social anxiety disorders in particular are linked to the back-to-school season. Here’s the difference between them:

• Separation Anxiety Disorder: A child becomes extremely upset when away from a parent or caregiver, often fearing something bad will happen while they’re apart.

• Social Anxiety Disorder: A strong, ongoing fear of being watched or judged by other people that causes dread of social interactions or events.

Separation anxiety is more common in younger children around six years old. Social anxiety tends to develop around age 13, when newly-minted teens experience the shift from elementary school to junior high or high school.

Back-to-school separation anxiety

Younger children often feel uneasy about being away from their parents or family members, especially at the start of a new school year. Separation anxiety is a regular part of development for infants and toddlers up until age 3, when it starts to fade as they grow more independent and learn that you will return.

Separation anxiety can be diagnosed as a mental health issue when the symptoms last long-term, are more intense, or interfere with daily life, such as attending school or even being in a different room at home.

Signs of school-based separation anxiety include:

• Crying or having tantrums at drop-off
• Being extremely shy, clingy, or withdrawn
• Frequent complaints of headaches or stomachaches
• Having nightmares more than once a week
• Constantly asking for reassurance
• Refusing to go to school

How to help your child overcome first day of school separation anxiety

Taking a few problem-solving steps together at home can help your child feel more prepared and develop coping skills, resulting in reduced anxiety before the first day of school.

• Create a consistent routine

  Predictability helps kids feel safe.

• Practice short separations

  Start with brief periods apart and build up.

• Start a goodbye ritual

  A special handshake or phrase can offer comfort and reassurance.

• Stay calm and confident

  Your child takes cues from your emotions. If you keep calm, your child’s anxiety is also likely to lessen.

• Validate their feelings

  Let them know it’s okay to feel nervous, but reassure them they can handle it.

• Visit the school together before the first day

  Learning where they will spend their time in new surroundings can help ease back-to-school worries.

Teens and social anxiety

The teen years can be tough for you and your child while they go through significant physical, emotional, and social changes. For teens, anxiety often centers around social situations—fitting in, being judged or even answering a question in class. Signs of social anxiety include:

• Avoiding school or social events
• Excessive worry about what others think
• Physical symptoms like nausea, sweating or headaches
• Difficulty making friends
• Withdrawing from family, friends or activities
• Intense worry about public speaking, presentations or speaking in class

How to help your teen with social anxiety

Spotting signs of social anxiety in teens can be challenging because they tend to disguise their thoughts and feelings. If your teen is struggling, here are some ways to support them:

• Keep communication open

  Let your teen talk without fear of judgment. Create a safe environment for them to express their feelings. Make sure to listen and validate their emotions.

• Practice social scenarios

  If your teen is feeling nervous about potential conversations or upcoming presentations, role-play what to say in those situations. Having a plan for these scenarios can help ease the worry when the moment actually arrives.

• Encourage offline activities

  Having an online presence is a fact of life for today’s teens, but excessive screen time can be isolating. Sports, clubs, or volunteering for a cause your teen is interested in can build confidence and connections in daily life.

• Limit social media pressure

  Part of that online presence includes participating in many forms of social media. While some aspects of social media can foster connection, there are significant risks for teens who spend too much time scrolling through their feeds. Help them take breaks and set boundaries.

• Model healthy coping strategies

  While it may not seem like teens want to be anything like you during this time, you are their role model. Show how you manage stress in your own life.

When do I need to seek professional help with anxiety?

If your child or teen is experiencing extreme anxiety beyond what is typical for their age, you are not alone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report that, based on the most current data, 11% of children ages 3 to 17 have diagnosed anxiety disorders. That’s about one in nine kids.

Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if:

• Anxiety lasts more than 2–4 weeks
• Your child refuses to go to school
• Physical symptoms continue without a medical cause
• A noticeable drop in grades
• Significant changes in sleep or eating habits

The best place to start is with your North Oaks Health System pediatrician or primary care provider (PCP). They can help guide your next steps based on your child’s symptoms and experiences.

Big feelings, real solutions

Back-to-school anxiety is real but manageable. With patience, empathy, and the right strategies, you can help your child feel more confident and supported as they start a new school year.

If you feel your child’s anxiety is too extreme to manage at home, contact your North Oaks pediatrician or PCP to assess the situation and support you in finding the right treatment plan.

Schedule an appointment at North Oaks Pediatric Clinic at (985) 542-4950.

Visit North Oaks Primary Care online or call (985) 230-2778 to make an appointment at one of our locations today.

Don’t have a pediatrician or PCP? Find a North Oaks provider near you.